I didn’t mean to lie in that last programming note. The fact is, I screwed up. I completely overestimated my ability to multitask.

I apologize, and am still trying to figure out how to get back on track with the gazillion badges left to do without getting myself in trouble for missing deadlines for other offline work.

I also know I need to crack open the email at some point, so double apologies if you’ve been waiting for a reply from me for any length of time.

Sigh. You know what they say about the best laid schemes of badgers and bloggers…

No major worries for the future of badgery, I’ve just been sucked into a deeper and deeper pit of real-world deadline quicksand since the year started. Trust me, I’d rather be drawing and blogging and tweeting, but if I don’t pause to catch my breath right now then I really will be in trouble.

So, watch for 5 badges instead of the usual 10 over the next couple weeks. If I figure out a set posting schedule, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, um… surprise?

XOXO

Triple-purpose badge!

Readers: Earn the “book signing” merit badge by attending a book signing.

Writers: Earn the badge by being the one doing the signing.

Booksellers: Earn the badge by successfully hosting and/or surviving a signing.

Also worth mentioning: “Signing” doesn’t even seem like a word to me anymore! Tee hee!

Part of the merit badges for readers & writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

At long last, an alternative to the “feline ‘assistance’” badge is here!

Earn the “canine collaborator” merit badge by fessing up. Who takes you for long walks to jump-start your blocked brain? Who keeps your feet warm while you type? Who only ate half of your notebook when he really wanted to eat the whole thing? Who should be getting a coauthor credit any day now?

That’s right: THE DOG.

Though it’s worth noting that careful negotiation may allow a good-condition chew toy to take the place of the coauthor credit. Let me know how that goes.

Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

Quick—think of as many ways as possible to earn the “brainstorming” merit badge. By the time you’re done, you’ll have earned it.

Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

How do you earn the “framing story” merit badge?

According to a bedtime story my grandfather used to read to me, there was once a group of travelers that had a story-telling contest. The winner of the contest told a story about a guy who sat on a bus stop bench, telling everyone who sat down about a clever young woman who tells story after story to the king. Unfortunately, none of that woman’s stories explained what you need to do to claim this badge. Pity.

Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

Earn the “balance” merit badge by figuring out how to find time to write and still have a life. Or how to have a life and still time find to write. Your choice.

Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

We’ll wrap up Non-Request Week with the “zombie shoelaces” merit badge. BECAUSE HOW COULD WE NOT?

(Okay, to be fair, I see how this search happened. But I still had to draw it. BECAUSE HOW COULD I NOT?)

The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

I hear you’re great at earning the the “sarcasm” merit badge. [Insert conspicuous eye roll here.]

Thanks so much to the person who typed that word into the search box so I could use it for Non-Request Week. (Because nothing says sincerity like italics.)

Part of the merit badges for writers series. The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

Another day of Non-Request Week, another badge that needs to find a meaning.

So, the “cell phone” merit badge—is it for cell phone ownership*? Etiquette? Other?

You tell me, Badger Scouts. It was one of you who searched for it in the first place.

The badge may be posted on your site or blog. Tell us why you’ve earned (or will never earn) it in the comments.

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*Welcome to the late 90s, by the way.†

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†Okay, I didn’t have a cell phone until way after everyone else did, either.